“Some of you will want to know my advice to young writers and, uh, this is it: Don’t use semicolons. They stand for absolutely nothing. They are transvestite hermaphrodites. They are just a way of showing off. To show that you have been to college.”

sagatrope:

This is the first part of five from a lecture Kurt Vonnegut gave at Albion College entitled “How To Get A Job Like Mine.”